Our Life You Want Weekend with Oprah Happens in 2 more Days!

It is finally here! What we are calling the healing and discovery weekend, in just 2 more days, my good friend and Gold Star sister, Yassel Davila-Wallace and I will walk this journey as we look forward to all Oprah and her Trailblazers will do for us during 'The Life You Want Tour-Houston' weekend. Yassel and I met through the tragic loss of our husbands, our soldiers, yet our story had so much more in store for us. An unbreakable bond, I feel blessed and honored to share through sisterhood this much anticipated weekend!! Stay tuned as we share this journey from the Greater Fort Hood area to Houston as we spend the weekend with one of the world's most inspirational Queens!!

Was Ferguson Officer Darren Wilson a Criminal Based on Statistics?

(#Ferguson Discussion) As the creepy images cross our screens, of the evil-eyed Officer who shot and killed unarmed teen Mike Brown, we cannot help but cringe and wonder what Michael Brown was up against in those last few moments. As media often does with our Black youth in the story, let us take a look at facts that are unfolding about Wilson's prior years before this said attempt to arrest Mike Brown that ended in a complete worldwide tragedy. Are you aware that Darren was a *statistic? -Parents split after only 4 years of marriage -Mother was a criminal with a record of committed crimes -Fits profile of what they say about one- parent-home-youth's future years -His own wife just recently divorced him and left with their only child -Numerous reports from citizens in Ferguson of this said 'calm guy' are unfolding, with reports saying he often addressed them yelling and with harsh explicits like 'shut the F*** up!' (*from media stories on the officer) Was Darren some good-guy cop that is now being portrayed in a bad light? You will only assume that if you are pausing at all he presents from the outside: White skin, beady eyes in a police uniform. From what lies within him perspective, his stats and life growing up may possibly indicate undiagnosed violent behavior that he unleashed on the residents in the streets of Ferguson, Missouri, only to finally hit the breaking point that would end the life of the almost college student who will now only shine bright after his death via the legacy this historical moment will leave behind. How many Darren Wilson's do we have in police uniforms across our nation? How many psychological profiles are in place on a constant basis, with available treatment, so that our police force operates as it should...on the RIGHT side of the law? My thoughts, Dee 'mz DeeVa' Shields Written 6:40 am, August 21, 2014

Meaningless Sex equals a Season of Celibacy

A single woman engaging in sex without commitment, all year round, with the same partner or lord knows with multiple partners, should take a breather from sex at some point in time! I like to call it the"Season of Celibacy".Taking time to reflect on why you and this other person are having sex on a long term basis, yet have not decided to take it to another level...a step towards a real commitment. As much as some men...and some women... will argue me down that sex year in and year out without a commitment is NOT meaningless, truth be told ladies and gents, it is just that:MEANINGLESS SEX. GREAT for while it lasts, yet in the end, he chooses someone else or you choose someone else and now you have both ABUSED a part ofGOD's GREATEST GIFT to mankind: SEX! Meaningless sex, which is ALSO Great SEX at the same time but turns around into a full circle and bringing you back to the moment when you did not know him...has NO PURPOSE! Intimacy is NOT a recreational sport and society needs to STOP treating it like it is! Intimacy = IN TO ME YOU SEE! Intimacy says, 'here in this world of caressing, kissing and loving, I am opening up a door that goes deep and near to my soul'...how can you KEEP giving that 'special' someone a GIFT as expensive as that sounds without setting some standards towards your own self worth. AND...guess what, if you decide to have aSeason of Celibacy you do not have to BREAK up if you are in a great relationship that is simply facing 'fear to commit' from one of you...feel free to keep seeing the person, you will just have to get CREATIVE if you have been engaging in SEX already, and prepare for the struggle to do WITHOUT as he/she respects your decision to hold off. I say you do not have to break up to take aSeason of Celibacy because it is not a mandatory action in order to get your OWN mind clear as to why you are engaging in a act reserved for TRUE LOVE and ROMANCE. The only reason a break up may come is if the other person has a SERIOUS problem with the fact that you want to hold off from having sex for a while...if he/she loves you, he will NOT single ladies, she will NOT single men, have a problem with respecting your decison! Start with doing the research on the word Celibacy alone, and then, activate your own inner common sense...decide if taking a break fromMEANINGLESS sexis for you...do not forget to TELL your partner if you make this decision while in a relationship!  COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE... And then just do it!! Take a season to reflect. When and if you return back to having sex, be sure you are aware of what actually works FOR YOU!! ~Mz DeeVa~ Author of newly released memoir 'Great Sex Is Not Love and Never Will Be' and relelationship guide 'So Your Hearts Been Broken', both available on Amazon.comin paperback or on KINDLE or NOOK. Visit the Facebook fan page for weekly discounts on autographed pre-purchase copies http://www.facebook.com/mzdeeva4you ; Contact DeAnna 'MzDeeVa' Shields Email: sayitwithdeetv@gmail.com Twitter: @MzDeeVa4you

Getting Along with Those Who Behave Like the Old You

Okay, you have heard it often, "Birds of a feather, flock together." So how often do you apply that saying in your own life? Over the years we outgrow certain behaviors and ways of life. For fear of losing those we have known for a long time, we continue to be around those old ways and lifestyles. As we are growing and maturing into the new way of life, it is important that we take a long hard look at people in our lives who are failing to make that transition with us. If you are not careful in your new lifestyle growth, the bad behaviors of life long friends will begin to creep back up and have you acting like your old, negative, self in no time. You do not have to make a dramatic, negative exit in order to move away from those who exhibit ways you no longer find interesting. Just simply make it clear that your old way of thinking, reacting and behaving, is a part of your past. And for the really mature, you already know that this can be "said", without you having to say very much at all. Refuse invites to hang out in environments that you have outgrown. As well as set clear rules for house visitors on what and who they bring to your home. As you move forward on your journey of change, seek out friendships with individuals who will mentor you towards a better way of living. Be encouraging to those who have yet to change. Just like it happened for you, the realization will hit one day and hopefully your new found positive energy will assist in their transition as well.

Your Success is Not Just About You

Ever wonder why (after months of really hard work) it appears that not many things are going in your favor? I see dozens of individuals in and out of my community who are set, selfishly so, on how the outcome will enhance their own dreams, their own goals. What these individuals have not been told is this difficult to swallow fact: Your talent, skill, resources may have been assigned to you to assist and support someone else. Not just to help you succeed. Now this is not some message to make my readers go and give away, and give up on, all that they have worked hard for. However, It is a message to call my readers in to a state of reflection on how they are using what they have to help someone other than themselves. What if what you are capable of will only reach a higher level AFTER you put in time helping someone move closer to their goals? Reflect on the important message many miss on that super busy road to success: "God is calling us to something bigger than our own personal happiness." Mz DeeVa, Author-Life Coach-Talk Radio Host-Talent Agent http://www.AuthorDeeShields.com http://www.DeeVaEntertainment.org Follow: @MzDeeVa4you (IG, Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook)

Can I help Repair His Broken Relationship?

Today I had a long conversation with an associate who feels he has done all that he can to repair his longterm marriage that is coming to a painfully abrupt end. Of course with all things there are two sides to every story. However, I feel that what he was sharing was genuine as he explained that a past mistake led his wife to decide she no longer could live with all that followed from that life changing mistake. With her hands up in the air, his wife has refused any attempts to repair the marriage, leaving him with the choice to file the papers and walk away. In this conversation, he said what I hear often from men who experience the worst of heartbreaks: 'Mz D, I will never give 100% again. All that I put into this marriage, I cannot see myself doing it again.' It's a shared sentiment of men across the globe, and although there is nothing inside of me that can physically change their minds, I do trust in my gift and share (with men who reach this point) my simple guide 'So Your Hearts Been Broken? (Please Get Over It)'. In this guide, the chapter on 'Forgiveness' and the 'Second Chances' chapter have supplied answers to the most difficult of questions when experiencing heartbreak. Available on KINDLE e-Reader, for an instant read, go over to Amazon (http://www.Amazon.com/author/mzdeeva) and read if you can relate to all that I shared here today. You can also share the guide with a friend going through a similar story after you have finished reading it. Talk Back here or via Facebook or Twitter: @MzDeeVa4you

New Home of Ask DeeVa

Expect great topics, 24/7! Welcome to the official new home of Relationship Talk Queen, Mz DeeVa's 'Ask DeeVa' blogs! Enjoy! Team DeeVa